precariously perched

So as I was waiting to pay for the vet therapy session tonight, one of the therapists was walking Elvis around like a baby wrapped in a towel so I had my hands free (and it was pretty hilarious) so I went over to pet a very cute and excited bulldog named Maggie. Who left some toxic dog slobber on the knee of my pants that actually left a stain. And she left that oily residue on my hands.

It just reminded me that I never ever want a big slobbery dog no matter how fucking cute it is. 

Elvis is so perfect in some ways, his personality just sucks. (well it didn’t used to) Plus the whining and begging for food.

• he’s not stinky
• he doesn’t leave a smell or residue on your hands when you pet him (IF you even can)
• never had bad breath (except after eating poop)
• minimal slobber
• doesn’t fart a lot
• nice solid poops
• easily transportable
• little but sturdy
• not much of a Destroyer Of Things

holy!! why relevant to your life?

Haha! because my dog is old and has a bunch of issues, one being neurological and his ‘lipstick’ hangs out all the time (and every friday his physical therapist lubes it up and sticks it back in). 

oh hey guess what

MOAR PILLZ FOR MY DOG

not prescription, these are called Neutrix,  for senior dogs, it’s supposed to help his brain. Maybe it will unfuck his personality and stop his whining.  At least he ate it without hesiataion. I hope it works.

He’s so pooped from the long walk and then therapy. He was so cute at the end of the appointment, I was holding him and his eyes were shutting, he was so sleepy.  I miss when he was cute like that. And being able to hold him and hug him and pet him.

Anyway I think we will both sleep well tonight!

So just to update the pill-popping score—-

Every day he gets:

• 1 Cosequin (for joints & arthritis) (1/2 in am, 1/2 pm)
• 2 Gabapentin (for pain & inflammation) (1 in am, 1 in pm)
• 2.5 thyroid pills (I always forget what they are called, Paroxin maybe?)1.25 in am, 1.25 in pm)
• now 1 Neutricks (probably 1/2 in am, 1/2 pm)
• 5 drops of Vitamin E in wet food

Twice a week he gets

• 1/4 Lysodren
• 1/2 Prednisolone

Both for Cushings disease. Then he gets Tramadol as needed for pain up to 4x a day (I don’t even give it to him every day but when I do it’s usually once MAYBE twice a day) and melatonin when I want him to go the fuck to sleep. I actually haven’t given him melatonin in a while.

It’s like a full time job trying to keep his pills in stock, sorted, and in his system!   I wonder what I spend on him monthly. It’s like rent almost.  At least $300 in physical therapy, and then the pills and food and treats and Pill Pockets (I should buy stock in Pill Pockets), Oh and let’s not forget the pee pads! it’s gotta be pushing $400/month.  But I never think about it that way except for right now. I’m lucky and grateful I can afford it (thank you, not having kids!) and there is no purpose in thinking money because

WHAT THE HELL ELSE AM I GOING TO DO?

Even though he hates me he is my little buddy. And I can’t get over how much attention he gets from people everywhere but especially in the vet office. And he’s such a little shit. But I guess cuteness and character go a long way.

God it’s like a lifetime ago since he used to sit on the couch with me and even longer since he used to sleep in bed with me. I don’t miss that, I sleep much more soundly not having to worry if I am going to roll over and either squish him or invoke his wrath and wake up to a snarling cur because I bounced the bed.